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Ask yourself if you want to be emotionally attached or if you would rather be set free from that connection. When your ex’s actions don’t matter and don’t define your experience, you are well on your way to letting go.
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Your need for an apology or remorse is directly connected to your emotional attachment, which makes it impossible to let go of the need to be acknowledged and honored by someone who has betrayed you.
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So the work for you becomes more about how to relinquish the need for an apology, accountability, or remorse, which will enable you to move on and begin picking up the pieces of your life. It leaves you in a powerless place because you will never be able to will your ex into giving you what you so rightly deserve. When the need for an apology becomes connected to healing, the focus becomes your ex as opposed to yourself. Waiting for an apology you may never get will keep you stuck, unable to move on with your life. Both require courage and a deep capacity for empathy and compassion.
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Saying I’m sorry means admitting fault, as does acknowledging that the action has deeply hurt another person. The ability to repent for an act of betrayal requires a level of evolution that most people never aspire to reaching.
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If you’re waiting for an apology or some explicit expression of remorse from your ex, pull up a comfortable chair and get ready to sit for a while. I see it all the time in my work with divorcing people: the anger, bitterness, and frustration felt when one partner betrays or deceives the other with little or no remorse for their actions. How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work.Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists.
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